The wind blows through my hair

My bangs fall into my face

I can't help but smile.

I'll be rid of this place.

Not rid of the room or the floors

The windows and doors

Not rid of the furniture and the ceiling

No.

For it is this very world that I am leaving.

My life has been nothing

But a dreary veil

If you could call my life anything

It would be one word.

Hell.

I know there are others

with lives much worse out there.

But, at this point

Do you think I really care?

I feel like a coward

Taking the easy way out.

When they live their their awful lives

Without so much as a doubt

That they will come out on top.

I wonder what heaven is like.

Is it high in the sky

A field of clouds

a garden of rays of light.

Full of happiness and felicity.

The two things I have never known.

I wonder what Hell is like.

Is it deep in the bowels of the Earth

A lake of fire

A land of embers

Full of wrath and melancholy

My two faithful companions.

Which kingdom will my spirit pass on to

Where will my soul dwell

Will it be the land of the blessed

Heaven?

Or the realm of the damned

Hell?

I suddenly feel guilty.

I think of someone who has always been there for me.

Mother.

Can I just leave her like this?

She's always cared for me

And now I'm just going to leave the world

Like a fool

Like...

the coward that I am.

I can't do it.

I can't leave like this.

It's not worth it.

The pain is not worth it.

They are not worth it.

They are nothing.

They hurt me to feel good.

My smile grows wider.

They have felt this way too.